The sizzling star shot some of her raciest scenes ever for her new film The Boy Next Door and did not shy away from the required nudity. It's not even the worst line, which I'd say is J-Lo's observation that "a penis is like a sea slug". You're not a little girl anymore. For some reason, that reminds me of the occasion Marianne Wiggins, the former Mrs Salman Rushdie, wrote in The Times about slipping a Cornish limpet into her lover's coat: But if Thomas married, say, Mavis and insisted on rocking the old engine sheds every picture, pretty soon folks would be complaining that he was just going through the motions, they don't generate any real steam, he looks like he can't wait to pull out. And, like most Hollywood hot couples, when they're up on screen writhing around in the big sex scene, they look about as hot for each other as the Prince and Princess of Wales on that last Australian tour. You look so grown-up in that bustle. Lopez has one of the most famous bodies and bums in the world.
Unsurprisingly it features some pretty explicit sex scenes. He's wiggling away underneath her with a very intense, determined expression, like when he goes to Washington to discuss arts funding with Jesse Helms. But if Thomas married, say, Mavis and insisted on rocking the old engine sheds every picture, pretty soon folks would be complaining that he was just going through the motions, they don't generate any real steam, he looks like he can't wait to pull out. The movie would flop, he'd be Thomas the Tanked Engine. They are uncomfortable, but your job as an actress or an actor is to make it believable and this movie in particular hinges on if that was believable, that it was enough to make this guy go insane. That's why Hollywood sex depends for its plausibility on it being two actors known to be unknown to each other. In Thomas and the Magic Railroad - his most recent hit, if memory serves - when Alec played the miniature Station Master who substitutes for Sir Topham Hatt, he wisely chose not to wangle Kim a role as Lady Hatt and liberate her from her decades of loveless marriage with the unfeeling Sir Topham. J-Lo lies on the bed, spreads her legs, and beckons to Ben: Put her with anybody else and yeah, I'm paying. Wouldn't it have been easier just to get some body double to do nude scenes with his wife? You look so grown-up in that bustle. And she's not afraid to use it. And, to be honest, I felt a bit sorry for the couple when the audience fell around laughing at what's become the best-known line of dialogue in any summer movie. It's too sad for that. But you knew when they got back home at night and had non-movie sex they didn't do it like that. A friend of mine thought Gigli was about the late operatic tenor of the same name. Unlike Alec, Thomas understands that puffing away under Mavis while Celine Dion sings Shuffle off to Buffalo would be beneath his station. For some reason, that reminds me of the occasion Marianne Wiggins, the former Mrs Salman Rushdie, wrote in The Times about slipping a Cornish limpet into her lover's coat: You're not a little girl anymore. I'm not just thinking of obviously risible examples like Cruise and Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut, in whose orgy scenes the more the camera lingered on stray follicles from Nicole's bikini wax, the more Tom's naughty bits were obscured by ever more elaborately posed stray limbs, lamp shades, fruit bowls, etc. And, like most Hollywood hot couples, when they're up on screen writhing around in the big sex scene, they look about as hot for each other as the Prince and Princess of Wales on that last Australian tour. It's so convention-bound - the power ballad grinding away on the soundtrack, etc - that the minute you put real lovers in there it seems completely fake. You can talk about your Hedda Gablers and your King Lears, but nothing exposes the limitations of an actor as much as having to simulate sex with his own missus. The star admitted the sex scenes were intense but refused a body double [GETTY] That famous booty cold only belong to one woman. It's not even the worst line, which I'd say is J-Lo's observation that "a penis is like a sea slug". Yes, it's Jennifer Lopez.
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